Looking back to begin looking forward

This year has so far been a year for reconnecting, re-evaluating, forgiving, and beginning again. The year started well, one of my sisters just had a baby girl in Dec 2006, and my other sister is pregnant with a girl now. I have reconnected with friends I thought I would never hear from again, and learned they missed me just as much as I've missed them. My husband and I have decided to start trying for another child this coming August now that he has his bachelors degree. I finally know the career path I want to spend my life following, and will hopefully be able to start college to pursue that goal.

I'm learning to find the strength to forgive others, and put the pain of betrayals, and perceived betrayals, behind me. I'm learning that I sometimes judge too harshly the actions of others, and myself not harshly enough. I'm learning that love doesn't have to come with labels, demands, limits, or justifications.

I'm learning that for the first time in my life I like who I am, and the person I'm becoming. I'm learning how to push myself past the anxiety in my life, so I can live my life. I'm learning to laugh again, learning to let go and to have fun. I'm learning to demand better, from myself and from others. I'm learning not to let others walk all over me in the name of love. I'm learning that love is not synonymous with pain, even though they sometimes come together.

Slowly but surely I climb, each day another rung on the ladder leading out of the past and into a better future.