A shoulder to lean on

I'm always a good shoulder to lean on, always there to comfort and consult. What about me though, who do I get to lean on, who will comfort or console me? When is it my turn to not always be okay? When is it okay for me to just be cranky, or feel bitchy, or just feel like I need to cry. Why when I am not the model of emotional fortitude do I get accused of being selfish, and if occasionally I really am selfish, so what? Am I not as human as everyone else? I don't know all the answers! My life is not always perfect, I don't always feel okay! I'm tortured constantly by massive anxiety attacks, they don't have one trigger source, they're there all the time; no one ever knows unless I tell them though,I've learned to hide it that well. Some mornings I don't want to get out of bed, I just want to lie there and sleep, but I don't if I did who would take care of everything. I'm not superwoman, I'm not even supermom, I am not an angel, not a sweetheart, I'm not an entertainment coordinator, and sometimes I'm not even a very good wife. Somedays I just want to let the phone ring, let the answering system get it, use the 'do not disturb' button so i don't have to hear it nagging that there are messages. Somedays I just want to slip on my headphones, and ignore the world and all it's demands, to slip into my own world, where I am special and cherished, and important just because I'm nice to be around, not because I am there for everyone else; a place where no one ask me to solve any problems, where no one excpects me to have the answers. Some days, I just want to be selfish.